wargghh i didnt feel like rant posting until i really couldnt find my regional book and starting flipping out
if anyone remembers me carrying it around tell me please. im going to fail monday. skim down the rant for more important-e informations, sirs and madams
:D im such a loser
i decided i hate my personality xD
too naiive, too nice, does not understand when someone is using you
etc.
like for projects and groups. i absolutely HATE forcing myself out of a group. when there are too many people, and no one wants to leave, its me. i hate when i do that. i always end up in a group that i dont want to be in. yes yes i know its my own problem because i offer, but i absolutly despise myself when i do that. i think julia remembers in our 8th grade end of the year project for social studies, when we got into a good group, until ruchi wanted to be in it. and guess what. " Its okay julia! ill move :D" just to tell you julia i would have loved working with you, yet i dont know whats wrong with me. I keep a happy face even when no one was working and when one day i just got so mad i cried.
oh yeah. i also hate people who dont work. people who promise to do things and end up doing nothing and telling me to do it for them. i dislike that greatly, but i can deal with it. I am not a procrastinator up to the minute the project is due and have a group member be like " i didnt do it" and for me to just smile and say "^^'' its okay, we'll do it now" yet, thats okay. i can deal with this. this is a there hour pissed off mood and im good for the day
and PSHS next year. i decided hey, maybe im not like everyone else and can take on 50000 AP classes. yet its sort of always crushing me when someone comes up and asks: "ooo, how many ap are you taking next year? im taking 7!!" i ask people what classes theyre taking to see if i could be in a class with them, and maybe, hey its okay with them if i dont take that many ap classes. psh. i know no one says anything, but when i say "uhh, yeah, im taking 2. sorry" i find a hidden emotion pop out thats like "chh. shes not smart enough"
fine. heres my schedule APUSH, AP ENG, fashion design, orchestra, swimming, regs precal, regs physics
sorry for being stupid.
haha. i wish i actually had a group of friends i hang out with all the time. i wish, but it aint going to happen. Everyone just sort of "knows" me, yet in the hall, if i dont wave or say hi, they pretend they dont see me. yes there are the few who are like HII IVIII, like aaron, and julia, and alice, and kirsten, and izzy, a few others. so ive decided to think about it logically, and most of the people i know are "aquaintances" They know me but wont ever invite me to be in a group project with them, or go somewhere. its because i dont fit in. im too spread out everywhere, and have no close friends. except the closest friend resides in california, and i love her dearly.
it makes me mad to know some people who do not care about their money, and spend it anywhere and everywhere. Im not just talking to ____ im talking to a bunch of people. THESE people are stupid and if they decide, "ah, i like Bob. but he doesnt like me. what should i do?" and give them MONEY. not little amounts, but large amounts 50+, and items of that expense. and i also dislike the people who think "ah! naiive girl who doesnt know anything! ill take the money!" okay. is it not common manners to say "oh, uh, sorry i cant take your money" is this how people are these days? i guess they are. So, what do i think of these people? the girl? she needs to grow up and see that it looks like shes trying to BUY this guy. and if this guy took the money? hes not who you think he is. the guy? he needs to go to preschool and relearn his manners.
i know aim is a place where people ask what homework they have, help on questions etc. i do it alot myself, yet i find it extremely tiring for me when many people ask, " ah, can youtype that up for me. can you scan this (I DONT HAVE A SCANNER) can we "check" answers?" this is called using someone. my personality is so gay that if you ask me and i can do it i will 97% of the time do what you ask. once in a while is fine, but if you know its you who just literally everyday asks a favor, try not to anymore. Thanks to people like aaron, jliu, joseph uz, nathan, who sometimes randomly just tell me hello <3 it makes me happy
ah. and extremely conservative people. People who are like " GAY PEOPLE ARE FROM THE DEVIL" "IF YOURE NOT CHRISTIAN YOU GO TO HELL" i dont mind that youre christian, like brandon g and andrewlin are usually fine with this. they keep their own beliefs, and dont try to force others, and when they try, its not with a threat of if you dont, you go to hell, its with the nice, "because its the right thing to do" sort of thing. thanks guys. one time someone came up to me and said "are you christian?" and me, studying, just said "nope sorry, im agnostic" my reply? "tch. thats as bad as hating god and going to hell" thanks alot. in your religion, yes im going to hell, yet in my point of view, i like where i am. i like bits and pieces of most religions, yet when youre that conservative, and think that BUDDISH MONKS GO TO HELL, theres something wrong with you. think about what youre reading in the bible, or whatever you use. are you brainwashed? or do you truely believe its right. do you think you would act this way if you had not grown up with that religion? think and think sirs and madams, why you are condemning people who have done nothing wrong to hell. i applaud those who truely believe their religion, and try to do good every day because of their own will.
I CANT FIND MY BOOKKKK D< <-- random a.d.d. moment
i was going to say more, but its past my time limit. i need to go study. i only had time for a 20 minute break.
extra treats for the eyes for my anime peeps. Jin and Kenshin: absolutely one of the most wonderfully cheographed cosplays ive ever seen. funny and amazing.
<3333 this made me happy again :D and also this
cosplay is coming around fine, we finally finished the mannequins. id post some pictures of SOMEBODY wrapped in duct tape but he begged me not to :D so ill just show the finished product
concert was nice yesterday, brandon took me along with luke, and we had strange conversations >.> xD
and brandon was all hyper and add :D which made me add too, which made luke go SHHH. not sure if it counts for orch essay though, since about 30 people came from jasper, yet it was just piano/piano+cello. they were REALLY GOOD though D: maybe some of us can gang up on ms mabel and make her let it count >D
and she also gave me a 25 on my orchestra title page. how is it that if you turn it in days late you get a 70, and if you turn it in on the first page you get a 25. is that idiotic or what. i will use my pursuasive forces to make her change it to at least a 70.
speaking of pusuasion i got a 98 on the english speech :D i gave myself a 90 since i talked too fast, sort of stumbled, didnt make as much eye contact, didnt use too many hand motions etc. but yay. cept now shes going to read the un-un-un edited version that i turned in and then i shall get a 50 xD
